The BC gang were here again. Great people. I didn't go backwards as much against Eric as I did last time but I still couldn't get my hips to where they needed to be to change the embusen consistently. It always felt like I just couldn't trust myself to move when he committed so I was fidgeting instead of moving decisively and explosively. Which is particularly strange cause he was really tired and all those muscles he has make it really hard to conceal his initiative. I had the time but I didn't trust myself.
It is sooooo slippery, isn't it? Zaha says you have to build enlightenment upon enlightenment. They are few and far between. I had only one real moment of insight. One moment when I was across from James that I was calm enough, sure enough, to actually look at him. I was looking at his eyes and...And for a brief moment, the briefest of moments, I looked into his heart.
I could see his wariness, his deliberation. A flicker of inner light, a spark and my body moved on it's own. My glove touched his nose.
Objectively I know I reacted to a flinch of his eyes or something. But it was more than just that. His whole body changed, the temperature in the room changed. I knew he was coming and I intercepted him just as his body began to obey his mind.
For one moment in 20 hours of training, I entered a green belt with 20 years less training than me. Kenji Ushiro does it every time he stands before some one, regardless of who they
are, how big they are, how good they are.
And I want to feel it again. But it's sooooo slippery.